Thursday, April 10, 2008

Sexiest Instrument

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! is an NPR news show which makes fun of recent news and events. There's this segment inside the show in which they invite random famous people to "play" in their show. Right now, there's this unofficial survey of musicians in which the host asks them what their choice of the "sexiest instrument" is. I just find this funny and want other's people opinion.

Here's the past few interviews:

Note - Peter is the host of the show and the "panel" is a panel of comedians invited to "play" in the show. Take a listen to a whole show to get the feel of this "panel".

Branford Marsalis (the first one ever to be asked) -
Peter - We heard a rumor that the ladies like the saxophone for some reason

Branford - That's not a rumor, look at all the movies. As soon as the guys get near the women, what do you hear? The saxophone. There is a reason for that. At the age of 14 or 15 when I was not getting any girls, I often said I should switch to the saxophone, cause you could win her with the saxophone.

Peter - What makes a saxophone so sexy?

Branford- I have no idea, It's just that you play it and women goes like 'Oh-la-la I like', I don't know why. I've never heard anyone come up and say, electric keyboards, "The DX-7 is so sexy!" It just doesn't happen.

Panel- Is all oboe player virgins?
Branford - I don't know if it's true, but I would understand why if it's true.

Peter - I was just thinking of the accordion player thinking 'I wasted my life.'

Branford- Accordion, did you say accordion?
Peter - Yes accordion

Branford- Oh gosh, it sounds like two pianos falling down the stairs. Do you know any accordion players?

Peter - I actually do
Branford - don't introduce them please.

And Branford continues on his pillage of the accordion.

Weird Al-Yankovic (In response to Branford):
Peter - One of the reasons we want you on is because a couple of weeks ago, Branford was talking about the sex appeal of the saxophone and he disparaged. Disparaged, the sex appeal of the accordion.
Weird Al - Blasphemey!

Peter - We were hoping you could stand up for the accordion as a chick magnet.
Weird Al - Absolutely, back in the fifties, Dictanglo(?), famous for popularizing the Ladies of Spain, if you look at his old album covers, he's there with beautiful women without any irony whatsoever. The accordion is a very sexy instrument

Panel - A lot of those pictures are... posed
Weird Al - I thought it was a documentary! My life is a lie!

Peter - Is there something sexy about the way the accordion is played or the way it sounds?
Weird Al - It's a very sensual instrument. You know, the moving, the breathing, the bellows (?) going in and out. It's a very sensual instrument.

Peter - So you think women see you on stage, you know, compressing and expanding and compressing and expanding. On the sublimal level think, I wished to be compressed and expanded?

Yo-Yo Ma (Sexiest Classical Musician by People's in 2001) -
Yo-Yo Ma - [Refering to Branford Marsalis] So true... I would say the saxophone.

Peter - "But have you ever considered the cello? The cello has this womanly shape of course, grasp it between your legs, you stroke it, you bow it. "

Yo-Yo Ma - "I feel you're getting kind of intimate."
Herbie Hancock:
Herbie-I wold say that, it's probably a guitar, but for me, it would not be the guitar, cause I play sexy piano
Peter - In fact sir, we've come accross you playing something called a keytar, which is a keyboard shaped like a guitar? Was that an entirely chick-oriented decision on your part?
Herbie - Yeah!

Panel - Has anyone ever said the bass is the sexiest instrument?
Herbie - I don't think so,
Panel - I don't think so either
Herbie- Drums of kind of sexy too

Peter - Really? I've got two words for that: Phil Collins (Anybody wanna explain why, I don't really get this part...)

Panel - Imagine for him what it would be like if he didn't play the drums.
Herbie- Wait, wait, you know what I think a sexy instrument for a women to play is a cello.

Peter - Oh, I can only imagine why. I can't go on with that image in my head. Think Phil Collins, Phil Collins, Phil Collins. Phil Collins playing a cello, Oh!

Herbie - In a skirt
Everyone - Oh!!!

Peter - And he hasn't shaved his legs!
Everyone - Oh!!!

Here's the website for past archives:


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1 comment:

  1. I've always wanted to play the cello, actually, and am definitely a piano player. Those were some interesting conversations.