Terroists Sentenced to Six-Months Probabation at Guantanamo Bay

August 23rd, 2064

Today, military prosecutors won a huge battle at Guantanamo Bay by finally getting a sentence to be handed down to 6 now-convicted terrorists after being locked up for nearly 58 years since Georoge-You-Know-Who's presidency.

"It's a huge victory for the war against terror," commented John McCain, the now 128 year old Senator running again for the presidency, "I mean it's about time that those people got prosecuted!"

The six terrorist were sentenced to 6 months of probation on minor misdemeanors. They will be serving their sentence on the island of Cuba, where the economy has boomed under Raul Castro and the sale of cigar to China and India.

"It's great to finally go outside the walls of the prison. I mean for most of the trial, I was yelling 'Convict me in the name of Allah! Just get me out of here! I'm tired of listening to the Barney song over and over again!' I finally got my wish." said the 85 year old Abdul Aliyy Risay.

-runiteking1

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News that Killz (with stupidity...)

1. Tyson Gay is the fastest men at the Olympics qualifying rounds, and he should get quite a bit of respect. Of course, it might be a bit hard with his last name but one website accidentally went too far.

"The people who run the American Family Association’s OneNewsNow site are so frightened of gays that they've set up a filter to change every instance of the word "gay" to "homosexual."" - BoingBoing

Well, it would be okay unless you start reading the article, now substitute every "gay" with "homosexual," even the title...

Take a look at this passage.

Asked how he felt, Gay Homosexual said: "A little fatigued."

Hmmm......


2.  You know that person, that one friend, that never stops talking? Imagine seeing a visiting friend who talked for more than 30 hours straight... 30!!!

"After an unbelievable 30 hours and failed attempts to encourage the guest to leave last Saturday, the woman did not know what else to do but to call an ambulance," the police said.

That person should run for the Senate and be in a filibuster....

(link)

 

3. A vibrating bra.

Get it? Hah!?!?!

Well, how about a bat bra?

So how did a teenager girl did not notice a bat that was in her bra? By thinking it was a cellphone...

I'm not even going to say anything...


-runiteking1

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So DiCaprio, a Wedgie and a Super Bra Walked Into A Bar

1. After being in the sea for more than 80 years, the artifacts of Titanic got to experience the waters all over again. Last month, the Titanic exhibit at Pittsburgh had a busted pipe, thus flooding the exhibit. Damage was minimal on the various artifacts, the main attraction being the hull, due to two reasons:

1. The water immediately flowed to the gift shop hoping to see the reruns of the Titanic movie playing on the TVs.

2. The response time was minimized when the janitor saw a frozen Leonardo DiCaprio float past him in the aquarium.

(Picture by nol)

2. A window cleaner who dropped 25 meters suffered what I (and possibly many others) would say is the largest wedgie ever to be delivered to a human being. Luckily, the man was okay but when asked on the scene how he felt, he replied in a high pitch voice: "I'm fine... just take me to the hospital..."

It's unclear whether he will ever have kids again or have his dignity back ever again.

3. Jiggling fat is energy, and in this energy hungry world, nothing should go to waste. At least that's what Adrienne So thinks. So (no pun intended) she did a little bit of research and found out that "physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers." Is there nothing else to do for the scientists (which I'm happy to say most were woman) to study?

So now, the self-conscious teens now have to be even more self-conscious.

"Boy! That girl can power through an entire symphony and still not break a sweat!"

"She can't even go through the Souja Boy song, while dancing."

Source: Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!

-runiteking1

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8 Harry Potter Movies?

I saw this interesting article in Yahoo! News.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20080313/120541260000.html

Apparently, the gist of it is that The Deathly Hollows will be split into two parts. I guess I can see why they would do that, but at the same time, it's more stardom for Harry and more money. Whatever, you can bet that I'm still going to be there at midnight!

-AzN

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Chuck and Orange Juice

I found this on Reddit and apparently if you plug in "Find Chuck Norris" into Google search and press I'm Feeling Lucky, you'll see this... (click to enlarge). 

Also apparently Newark Bay is closed due to a collision between a dredger and, guess what, a tanker containing orange juice (link).

The seagulls must been having a field day.

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Day of Silence

I don't listen to internet radio a lot but this is pretty big news. Every single internet radio station stopped playing whatever they played over an ensuing debate over money.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6240418.stm