The Word "PIE" Kind of Looks Like...

A few months ago, I stated an apparently obvious fact to my fellow Facebookers: "The word bed kind of looks like a bed." Apparently, everybody knew that fact or heard it way before I did.

The other logical things that look like what it means is obviously emoticons. If you show the symbol

:-)

to a caveman, he or she would instantly know that it's a human smiling. In fact, one of the first emoticons ever recorded is in a speech by Lincoln. In the speech, Lincoln put in parenthesis "applause and laughter ;)." There's a people that says that the ;) was actually a typo, and even though that may be true, I would like to think of Lincoln as the champion of racial rights and the inventor of the smiley face.

The modern smiley face was popularized on September 19, 1982 by a guy named Scott Fahlman. In a post on Carnegie Mellon's message board, he said:

19-Sep-82 11:44    Scott E  Fahlman             :-)
From: Scott E Fahlman <Fahlman at Cmu-20c>
 
I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers:
        
:-)
        
Read it sideways.  Actually, it is probably more economical to mark
things that are NOT jokes, given current trends.  For this, use
        
:-( 

Then there are those words that require a bit of imagination, such as shark or llama. The shark is pretty obvious, with the 'k' as the tail and 'h' as the fins. The llama on the other hand, requires a picture:

Such a win of a picture of a llama.

I guess I should go back to my title and tell you what the word "PIE" looks like:

3.14
PIE

Flip it.

-runiteking1

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Barack Obama's Affect on Robberies

Seems like Obama's new presidency has another affect upon America. By the extraordinary amounts of stupid robberies, it seems like Obama has decreased the IQ of some common robbers. Of course, another theory is that after Bush rejoined us (the normal citizens), he automatically dropped the average IQ of the entire population by several points.

1.  Heavyset ninja robs ATM: A ninja failing at stealing an ATM machine? Not possible...

The thief may be wearing a ninja outfit, but he does not appear to be of the same physical stature as martial arts legends Bruce Lee or Sonny Chiba. Surveillance footage shows the heavyset man has a noticeable pot belly.

2.  Point the Hole AT your target: Obviously this person missed the first day of Mace Spray 101, point the little holey thing away from yourself...

As the robber was leaving the office, Christiansen said, he pulled out pepper spray and pushed the button. But the nozzle was pointed the wrong direction. The spray hit him in the face.

3. Do your research: So, you've got everything set up for a robbery. The getaway route, your ski mask, your weapon of choice... then you get there, and found out there's no money. Instead your bank has turned into the water district office...

Police in Kentucky said an attempted armed robber left a former bank without any loot after finding the facility had been converted to a water district office.

Doh....

4. Waiting in line to rob a bank: Now, using the previous scenario,  imagine you actually got to a bank. You go in and begin the heist by waiting in line. Wait... by staying in line while wearing a ski mask in a bank?

An Ohio man may have tipped off his intentions when he stood in line at a bank wearing a ski mask before staging a holdup. [...]

Police say the teller asked the man to take off the mask before being served. The man displayed what turned out to be a toy gun and demanded money from the teller. He made off with an undisclosed amount.

-runiteking1

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The Superglue

I have superglue stuck on the back of my teeth.

Yes, superglue... here's the story:

So do you remember the story where I fell down from my bike cause it's really stupid and hates all of mankind? Well you see, I never said anything about my glasses that day, as it sort of came apart. If you see me in school, I can show you the crack on the frame (the lenses are okay).

Since my glasses are slightly broken, as in like, it snapped on the top left side of the left lens, our family bought some superglue to fix it. The frames stayed perfectly the first time we glued the thing together. Life proceeded.

Panoptica...

Eventually life brought me to a place called my dining table around 11:00PM. The task at hand was to complete a relatively long program for AP Computer Science while chatting on AIM. The objectives were easy to accomplish but they caused a memory overload, causing my brain to slightly overheat. Now, when my brain starts to overheat, my entire body starts to get warmer and warmer.

Critical temperature was reached in a few short minutes. Water was not available at the time due to the additional energy needed to maintain a maneuver called "Get-my-lazy-bum-out-of-the-chair." As a result, my body automatically went into emergency mode. As my mind raced through the options, the thought of taking my shirt off seemed extremely pleasing. So I proceeded.

Well, I happened to wear an especially small shirt that day, thus it caught my glasses as it slipped over my head. The superglue must have weakened as the glasses instantly let go. I immediately went into my room for the superglue. The problem now? The glue dried up near the top, so I couldn't open the cap.

Well, what did I choose to do? I stuck the thing in my mouth... and twisted to try and open the cap. One instance my mouth was nice and juicy from all the natural fluids, the next was warm and a bit sticky from superglue. My head went down to the sink and started flushing the glue out of my mouth.

The thing about superglue is that it doesn't like to dry under wet surface, so my actual mouth part survived intact. But my teeth had remnants of the glue left over. I tried washing my teeth under water for some 20 minutes to no result. Now, every time I extend my tongue, I touch some hard, bumpy surface.

As a result of this superglue in my mouth thing, I bough acetone from Publix after school the next day. Lets just leave it that acetone tastes like really bad alcohol, and doesn't really remove glue from your mouth.

As of tonight, the glue is more than 90% off due to the acidity of saliva. I never thought I would love my spit so much.

-runiteking1

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Stupid Day

Recently, I've been having extremely stupid things happening to me.

Yesterday after a band concert, a few of my friends and I went to TCBY (my very first time there) to enjoy the yogurt. For one, I got an order of parfait AND a small cup of yogurt, at 9:30 in the evening. That got my stomach churning throughout the night. So while on a sugar high at TCBY, I wanted to explore the bathroom, so I opened the door and poked my head in. The next thing I knew, I was hit right on the head by the very same door. I forgot that there were door closers installed on that door.

The next day, I snorted salt. I didn't know that it would be so painful as I had never tried inhaling Smarties or sugar. The pain of it in the nostrils caused me to have to flush water down my nose. Still, I did win a dollar on that dare and I probably will not ever input substance to my body using the technique of snorting.

Thinking that some other dumb people would post stuff on snorting salt, I came upon this website. I think I'm much more intelligent than the person who asked how to snort a mushroom.

Relating to this food thing, Cracked.com posted a post on the 7 most common foods that give you a high. So next time you want people to ingest items through their nose, give them some of these foods.

edit - Yoshinator reminded me that

You completely left out the part about you trying to inhale water through your nose and it dripping out of your nose and mouth. You also left out the part when you stuck paper towels up your nose to try and absorb the salt, the part when you realized that salt could have gone into your brain, and the part when Mrs. Traylor said that she would buy you a pack of ciggarettes so you could inhale them and then you would never want to smole again.

Oh yes... school. :)... plus a picture thanks again to Yoshinator.

-runiteking1

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Stay Anonymous, By Posting in a Directory?

This is stupid. Somebody posted just their name and grade in the directory of my school. The whole point of a directory is so that people can email/call you. (Note: Picture is blurred due to the amount of information on it, but the essence isn't changed)

For those of you who own the directory (you know who you are), go to the page where the staples are visible.

-runiteking1

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